The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny
by worldofbeers
Summary: Why are there so many wars all the time? You know, why don't they just discuss their problems over a cup of tea or something and do something constructive instead of blowing the hell out of each other! Songfic on Lemon Demon's The Ultimate Showdown Of Ult


**The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny**

**Written By: **worldofbeers

**Type: **Songfic

A little idea for a fanfic popped into my head whilst listening to The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny by Lemon Demon and thinking about the Middle East. This is the first fanfic i've posted so go easy on me here! I don't have a beta writer so any typos are my fault. Going with a T rating becuase i'm not sure about the whole violence thing . If anyone thinks it needs changing let me know. Reviews would be nice (hint hint nudge nudge). Can be nine or ten, but I imagined ten when I wrote it.

I don't own Doctor Who, obviously, because Doomsday exists and it made me feel embarrased because I cried like a baby in front of my dad. I don't own anything to do with Lemon Demon either. I also don't own any of the characters mentioned. If you want to hear the song, just type in The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny into google and they have loads of websites on it.

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Rose grabbed her rucksack off the kitchen worktop and headed towards the front door. 

"Now take care of yourself, won't you?" Jackie asked for what must have been the 15th time today.

"Mum, i'm fine!" Rose laughed. "I'll be back again before you know it." She turned towards the Doctor who was still watching the TV. Rose let out an impatient sigh. "Are you still watching the TV? What on earth is on that's so interesting?" she asked, before adding under her breath, "Normally you can't wait to get shot of this place." She walked over and stood behind his chair, trying to see the TV.

"4 more UN peace keepers were killed today in the fighting today in the Lebanon and Israeli war. Tony Blair is calling for an immediate ceasefire, but this doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon."

" That's terrible! I never knew there was a war!" Rose exclaimed. Seeing as it was now the end of the bullitein, the Doctor had jumped up from his chair and raced towards the door, and looked at Rose like a puppy begging to taken for a walk. "Ok, we're going already!" Rose grinned as he shook Jackie's hand. He was trying to get on with her but it was hard when he was still desperately afraid of getting slapped. "Bye!" Rose waved as they walked out the front door.

"Whew!" The Doctor exclaimed as they walked along the balcony, "I thought I was a goner for a while there!"

"It wasn't that bad!"

"You haven't been slapped by her!" He exclaimed indignently. "It still hurts whenever I think about it!"

"Fair enough." She told him as they stepped into the TARDIS.

As the Doctor was trying to decide where to go next, Rose began to think about the report she'd just seen on TV.

"Can I ask you a question?" Rose asked him.

"Go ahead, shoot." He told her, "Only not literally because you wouldn't be able to ask the question, and-" He was just about to ramble on when a cough from Rose alerted him to the fact that she was just about to ask a question.

"Why are there so many wars all the time? You know, why don't they just discuss their problems over a cup of tea or something and do something constructive instead of blowing the hell out of each other!" The Doctor turned from the console to look at Rose and looked at her seriously.

"Rose, sometimes war is the only way to sort out problems. War is a battle of the fittest, the best team wins and the worst loses. Ever heard of the ultimate showdown?"

"No...why?" She replied curiously.

"Sometime in the future, there was a war on a planet nearby to Earth. It's exactly like Earth, same cities and everything, but different people. It's inhabited by creatures and people from movies, films, TV, myths, well known figures of history, books, videogames, things like that, from this Earth. And that's where we'll go next!" He looked smug at finally figuring out where to go next. "There was a song made about it on Earth, haven't you ever heard it?"

"Nope." Rose told him.

"You know the kid in 'Back To The Future' ? "

"The one with the time - travelling car?"

"That's the one. He came to Earth and created a rock band called Lemon Demon. They do some great songs! They made a song about the whole war and it made them famous." He turned round with a big grin on his face and set the co-ordinates, whilst humming the Lemon Demon song 'Word Dissasociation' under his breath.

Some time later, the Doctor and Rose stepped out of the TARDIS and found themselves in a city with lots of skyscrapers.

"Where are we?" Rose asked him.

"Tokyo City, in the similar Earth!"

"Why Tokyo City?"

"This is where it all begins..." Suddenly they heard a loud stomping noise getting closer and the TARDIS began to play the Lemon Demon song ' The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny ' through the speakers.

_Old Godzilla was hopping around_

_Tokyo City like a big playground_

Indeed, Godzilla was stomping around Tokyo City. People were running for cover in all directions.

_When suddenly Batman burst from the shade_

_And hit Godzilla with a batgrenade_

Batman appeared from nowhere and he lobbed at batgrenade at Godzilla, which hit his foot. Godzilla picked up his sore foot and howled in pain.

_Godzilla got pissed and began to attack_

Godzilla looked really angry and swang his tail ready to wipe out the city.

_But didn't expect to get blocked by Shaq_

_Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu_

_When Aaron Carter came out of the blue_

Shaq began to attack Godzilla but Aaron Carter came up and stopped him.

_And he started beating up Shaquille O' Neal_

_Then they both got flattened by the batmobile_

Aaron began to beat up Shaq, but Batman ran them over in his batmobile.

_But before it could make it back to the batcave_

_Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave_

_And took an AK - 47 out from under his hat_

_And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat_

_But he ran out of bullets and he ran away_

_Because Optimus Prime came to save the day_

Abraham Lincoln climbed out of his grave, and, as the songs lyrics suggested, took an AK - 47 out of his hat and sent Batman flying over the other side of the street but when he spotted Optimus Prime there to save Batman he thought twice about taking him on and legged it in the other direction.

_This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny_

_Good guys, bad guys and explosions, as far as the eye can see_

_And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be_

_This is the Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny_

A building collapsed and Godzilla tried to knock another down with his tail but Optimus Prime held the building up.

"Wow!" Rose exclaimed. "So many characters in one place!"

"This is just the beginning..."

_Godzilla took abite out of Optimus Prime_

_Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime_

Needless to say, Godzilla wasn't very pleased with Optimus Prime. So Godzilla picked him up and bit his head off.

_And then Shaq came back covered in a tyre track_

_But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back_

Shaq was alive after his encounter with the batmobile, even if he did look bad with a massive tyre track all over him, when Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back.

_And Batman was injured, and tried to get steady_

Batman really was having trouble to stand up, he was wobbling all over the place.

_When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete_

_But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped_

_Indianna Jones took him out with his whip_

Abraham Lincoln went for Batman with the knife but Indianna Jones tripped him up with his whip.

_Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind_

_And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find_

Indianna saw Godzilla and reached for his gun - which was nowhere to be found! A look of panic overcame his face.

_'Cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed_

_And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist_

Batman had grabbed the gun when Indianna stood there looking smug after tripping up Abraham, and he shot at Shaq and Jackie Chan, but he completely missed Shaq and Jackie Chan defleted it off his fist like a shield.

_Then he jumped in the air and he did a somersault_

_While Abraham Lincoln tried to polevault_

_Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air_

_Then they both got hit by a care bear stare_

Jackie Chan did a somersault while Abraham Lincoln polevaulted. Unfortunately they collided in the air whilst trying to land on Optimus Prime and they fell to the floor. Suddenly they heard the dreaded words "Care Bear - STARE!" and they dissapeared into thin air.

_This is the Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny_

_Good guys, bad guys and explosions, as far as the eye can see_

_And only one will survrive, I wonder who it will be_

_This is the Ultimate Showdown..._

Lots of them began fighting in the street. Neville Flynn got attacked by snakes, Mario and Sonic The Hedgehog were having a slapfight, Eric Bauman got punched on the floor by Lowtax, R2D2 + C3PO were getting taken apart by a Judohobo, and Goku from Dragonball Z, Tobias from Arrested Development and a guy from the blue man group were walking round. They also saw the 'Back From The Future' guy time travel after hitting Santa Clause in a hit and run.

_Angels sang out in immaculate chorus_

_Down from the heavens decended Chuck Norris_

_Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones_

_Into the crotch of Indianna Jones_

The Doctor looked away at this point, cringing. "That has gotta hurt!"

_Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain_

_As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne_

_But Chuck saw through his clever discuise_

_And he crushed Batman's head inbetween his thighs_

"Don't look!" He told Rose, covering her eyes until that particularly gory bit was over.

"Hey! I'm not a kid you know!"

"I know, but trust me, you really really really didn't want to see that."

"I guess you're right..."

"I'm always right!" He told her indignantly.

_Then Gandalf the grey and Gandalf the white and_

_' Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight ' and_

_Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and_

_Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie_

_Robocop, The Terminator, Captain kirk and Darth Vader_

_Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger_

_Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan_

_Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock and Hulk Hogan_

_All came out of nowhere lightning fast_

_And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass_

_It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw_

_With civillians looking on in total awe_

All of the above characters came and slaughtered Chuck Norris, as random members of the public look on amazed at what they see.

"Time to go." The Doctor told Rose.

"Why?" She asked as they stepped into the TARDIS, which began to travel forward in time.

"Listen to the next part of the song."

_And the fight raged on for a century_

"No wonder we didn't stay!"

_Many lives were claimed but eventually_

_The champion stood, the rest saw their better_

_Mr Rogers in a blood stained sweater_

They both stepped out of the TARDIS to see Mr Rogers in said bloodstained sweater standing with a sword over his head on a pile of creatures and people, including Freddie Krueger, Jason Voorhees, an Alien, Captain Hook, Harry Potter, Han Solo and Pac-Man. They both went back inside as there was nothing else really to see. Mr Rogers won the war.

_This is the Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny_

_Good guys, bad guys and explosions, as far as the eye can see_

_And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be_

_This is the Ultimate Showdown (this is the Ultimate Showdown)_

_This is the Ultimate Showdown (this is the Ultimate Showdown)_

_This is the Ultimate Showdown...of Ultimate Destiny_

"Mr Rogers couldn't live with himself after killing all those people and creatures." The Doctor told Rose. "He committed Seppuku in front of the watching croud shortly after his victory."

"What's Seppuku?" Rose asked him.

"Ritual suicide."

"Oh. A bit gory then?"

"Yeah, just a bit. There were mini wars that kept the population down whenever it got too high, but none as big as that."

"I think I understand now." Rose told him. "War was the only way to stop more fighting later and it would have been worse because there would have have been more creatures to die."

"Exactly!" She'd got it in one. Rose thought for a moment.

"Lemon Demon do good songs don't they?"

"Yeah!" He told her enthusiastically. "My favourites ' Word Dissassociation ' !"

"I think i've heard one of their songs before. It was called ' Ode To Crayola ' It had all these different crayon names in it."

"I've never heard it."

"Really? It was on a CD a friend made me for my birthday once. Hang on, i'll go get it!" Rose rushed off to get her CD, and the Doctor set the co-ordinates for the next place to go to, still humming ' Word Dissassociation ' under his breath.

END

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So there we go...my first finished fanfic. What do you think? I'm gonna go celebrate...it took me 3 hours to type this up! 


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